Welcome to one of the March 23rd stops on the book blitz for Royally Drained by Fritzi Cox, organized by XPresso Book Tours. Look for others spreading the word across social media March 23-26 and don’t forget to enter the giveaway at the bottom of this post!
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About the Book
Royally Drained
V.I.L.F. Book One
by Fritzi Cox
Published 23 March 2021
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Page Count: 132
Add it to your Goodreads TBR!
From jilted princess bride to a revenge plot fit for a king, this charming couple is royally screwed …
As I lived my best royal life, my only job as a princess was to find and marry a handsome prince. Too bad Prince Theo turned out to be more of a toad.
After I began losing my powers, he lost interest in our upcoming wedding. Not only did Theo leave me at the altar, but he also banished me and my merry band of misfits from the Kingdom of Poppycock forever.
Talk about a walk of shame!
From enchanted castle to crumbling cottage, I’m now stuck in Morningwood, struggling to plot my next move.
This strange little town, full of mischief and magic, is the perfect place to hide while I practice my spells and hopefully regain my powers.
What could possibly go wrong?
Other than accidentally summoning a mysterious male vampire who throws me off my quest and gets my blood boiling in all the right places.
And my blood is exactly what Vail and his brotherhood need for their top-secret laboratory.
Who would have thought my charming royal genes could help their dangerous mission?
As long as Vail keeps his fangs to himself, we won’t have a problem.
His hands though?
That’s another story entirely.
My taste for revenge is strong, but his taste for me is stronger.
Could this be my fairy-tale ending? Or am I destined to live a nightmare?
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Excerpt
I had a suspicion that my magic faded with age, like estrogen, draining youth and power from my body, turning me into an old crone soaked in wine, and leaving me with an excessive amount of bitter baggage. At least, that was how I felt at thirty-one, past my prime. I’d stupidly wasted my youth on a man who put off marrying me for so long, only to dump me at the altar and banish me from his life and his kingdom, all in a matter of minutes.
I groaned, settling down onto a tree stump caked with a questionable fungus. The drizzle of rain dissolved into a mist, wrapping around me in a blanket of wet gloom and matching my mood. Anger bubbled inside me like a cauldron of witch’s brew, ready to explode and destroy its next victim.
Could this be early menopause? I thought with a sudden pang of panic.
“Ahem,” I cleared my throat and shook the thought from my head, determined to focus on something I’d not tried yet—the darker creatures of the forest.
My spells usually involved singing birds, cuddly bunnies, and doe-eyed deer. But there was one time, a while back, I’d accidentally summoned a rabid alligator. Of course, I’d hidden up in a tree until he left, but I always wondered if my charms could be used for more than sweet, princessy qualities, as my ex used to put it. You know, those things I’d lost when I became a worthless humanish bag of bones.
“Fa-la-la-la, rawr, la-la-la,” I tried, bellowing out the lowest spooky tone I could.
But nothing happened.
“I said, fa-la-la-la, rawr, la-la-la!” I screamed into the clearing, but only the windswept leaves echoed back.
I scuffed my boot into the dirt, kicking a pebble across the way before taking a deep breath and trying again.
“La-la-la, rawr, la-la-la.” My voice rang out as it had years ago when my magic was strong and powerful enough to command an army of squirrels, nibbling the ankles of all my enemies.
A blanket of clouds thickened overhead, forming a sinister chill in the air. The hair on the back of my neck prickled. I had a feeling I wasn’t alone anymore.
“La-la-la, rawr, la-la-la,” I sang again, louder.
Footsteps, much heavier than a bunny’s, pattered behind me. I stood up and threw my hands in the air, still singing and ignoring the feeling of someone watching me. I twirled, singing in harmony with the wind in the trees, the drizzle of rain, and the low hum of the clouds growing overhead. My senses awakened to the natural life around me, and for the first time in a year, I felt whole again.
I spun around the clearing, singing my heart out and skipping through the mud until—as my luck would have it—a man, not a beastly creature under my command, walked into my life.
“You rang,” said a deep voice behind me.
I turned to see a tall, dark figure stepping out of the shadows. His mouth curled, as if on the edge of laughter, displaying a glimpse of two deadly sharp fangs.
“Holy shit. I summoned a vampire.” I stood frozen, unable to look away.
****
“He’s here!” Godmother’s eyes grew wide. She patted down her dress pockets, checking for her wand before barking orders. “Pumpkin, stay in your corner. Mirror Mirror, shut up. Penelope, you’re up. Let’s see how well you remember class and elegance. You can practice for your winery soiree. If we all become this vampire’s dinner, it’s on you. I’m stupidly putting my faith in you—and him. Don’t fuck this up.”
“Godmother! Where did you learn that language?” I put a hand to my ruffled collar.
“From you. Now, get the door. I’ll pour the blood.” Her voice drifted into a harsh whisper.
I stood up, smoothing my hands down my skirt and instantly regretting my big heart. I hadn’t invited Vail to dinner to practice magic or charm. Nor had I asked him over because he had the body of a sculpted mid-century Viking and a voice that calmed and commanded me, all at once. I hadn’t even invited him over because I was curious about sex with a vampire and if the rumors of mind-blowing ecstasy were true. I didn’t plan on seducing him to find out.
Sure, I’d thought about it—a lot. In the bath, in the woods, when I was alone in bed and I was sure Mirror Mirror had fallen asleep. Vail had overtaken my fantasies ever since he whirled me around the ballroom and dipped me in the most romantic gesture I’d ever experienced. But every day I grew older, he stayed the same. The ex-prince vamp man and I would never work.
The real reason I’d invited him to dinner was to study him. He exuded an air of royalty and confidence that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t match. But even without my princessy qualities, at our last meeting, he’d treated me every bit of a queen.
I took a deep breath, swelling my bosom, and opened the door.
Vail stood, adjusting the lapels on his jacket. The tantalizing smell of his cologne drifted into my senses and caused me to let out a long, audible breath.
He froze, raking his eyes over my best ballgown, pausing his gaze at my puffed-out cleavage.
“My lady, you look exquisite.” He bowed, licking his lips. A glint of fang shimmered beneath his smile.
“Thank you! Good evening. Come in!” My words spilled out in an unintelligible sentence that even I didn’t understand.
Whatever grace and elegance I’d once had melted away at the sight of this vampire. He turned me into a royal shitshow.
About the Author
Fritzi Cox is a dark soul with a wicked sense of humor. She regularly bathes in the blood of her enemies while sipping champagne and hashtagging her vibes. She’s fond of plotting mayhem, writing spellbinding twists, and tickling her readers with an over-the-top sense of humor. Rumor has it, her alter ego, Kat Addams, is her spirit animal. Or is it the other way around? Either way, expect Fritzi to keep you on your toes!
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