Three nephews and three eccentric uncles.
Welcome to the June 11th stop on the blog tour for The Big Comb Over by J.P. Rieger with Goddess Fish Promotions. Be sure to follow the rest of the tour for spotlights, reviews, more guest posts, and a giveaway! More on that at the end of this post.
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Author Guest Post
What Would I Tell a New Author? My Top Five Writing Tips for Novices
I, myself, am a novice writer. I learn something new about writing, daily. But, having written four novels, I can at least provide some practical advice for the new author. Here are my Top Five tips:
5) Only write when you feel in the mood to write. You’ll probably receive the exact opposite advice from many experienced writers. Professional writers often schedule writing, essentially forcing themselves to place pen against paper. The late, great crime fiction writer, Charles Willeford, once told a colleague that he would deny himself his morning trip to the bathroom until he had written at least one page of prose. Of course, Willeford was also known for his wry hyperbole, so perhaps a grain of salt is warranted. But if you are a beginning writer, it’s because you enjoy writing. Don’t let others take that away from you. Write when you want to, when it will be a fun experience. If your writing becomes so popular and demand for your product so overwhelming that you find yourself writing constantly, at least you’ll have the satisfaction of enjoying the financial reward. Until then, chill out and keep it fun.
4) Don’t get obsessed with making a preliminary outline. Again, this advice goes against the grain. Your writing teachers likely instilled the need to have every detail of your forthcoming book clearly outlined in advance. Buzzkill. Some people love and need outlines. Others, like me, do not. Instead, I just write down short descriptions of “scenes” that I’d like to see in the novel. I don’t place these scenes in any particular order. The novel will organize itself as I go. If writing a formal outline is a chore, don’t do it. Just write down your ideas in some form that appeals to you. Perhaps a series of phrases or snippets of proposed dialog? Enjoy what you are doing. Do it your way!
3) Write your book in any order you please. Many experienced writers write their novel in accordance with their outline. They would not jump to the material outlined in the next heading before completing the prior one. But what if you’re in the mood to work on a specific section that occurs later in the outline? I don’t follow a formal outline and am therefore free to write any “scene” from the novel that I wish. You should, too. When the mood strikes, go for it. And writing your story “out of order” can also suggest the possibility of telling the story “out of order.” Although most writers take a linear approach and present their plots chronologically, (save for conventional flashbacks), many choose to jump around in their timeline. Presenting the reader with seemingly illogical and/or shocking future or past scenes can really grab the reader’s attention. And the temporary confusion can lead to real reader satisfaction as the gaps are filled, later.
2) Never give your book to friends and relatives unless they specifically ask for it. I know, you’ve finally got a box full of books to distribute as promos and perhaps place in some local bookstores. Giving your book away to friends and relatives seems a natural. They get to tell you about their kids’ soccer trophies, and now it’s your turn to let them see that you’ve accomplished something special, too. Stop. Do not do it. It’s a sad fact of life: most people do not read books. That’s right. They may check their news, sports or social media feeds but not much else. And those who do purchase books almost always focus on a genre: bios, true crime, fantasy, romance, sci fi, etc. And one seldom knows a given person’s particular flavor of the month. Giving your unrequested book away guarantees that the recipient will avoid you in the future. Not because they dislike you. Only because they have not read your book and would be embarrassed to admit it. They will feel uncomfortable around you. Even worse, some may have actually read some or all of it and disliked it. Giving books only to those who actively and sincerely desire a copy is a safe strategy.
1) The enjoyment test. This is a tough tip, but necessary. It’s almost impossible to find a publisher. It’s equally hard, as a novice, to sell your self-published book. Getting your book into local bookstores is a lot harder than you think. It’s difficult to get folks to read your book, even if you give them away. (I’ve gotten to the point where rejection letters don’t really bother me. At least someone read the book!) Every novice writer must accept the fact that, quite possibly, besides a loved one or two, no one else may actually read their book. I know. Depressing, right? Thus, the novice must ask this question: “If absolutely no one reads what I am writing, would I continue writing?” If the answer is not, “yes,” the novice writer should consider some other means of artistic expression.
About the Book
The Big Comb Over
by J.P. Rieger
Published 25 April 2024
Pearls Before Press Publishing
Genre: Satire, Magical Realism
Page Count: 254
Add it to your Goodreads TBR!
It’s 2050 and Robbie Elders has all but forgotten about his oddball, religious fanatic uncle, tim tim. He’s taken up the latest fad, genealogical research based solely on DNA. But Robbie’s “inconclusive” DNA results are unsettling. He crashes back to his childhood, back to his world of comic books and tim tim.
“I opt for posh and London” declares Lady Florence Stour. It’s 2019 and time for a Royal Wedding. Robbie’s uncle, Stef, is engaged to Lady Florence, a distant member of the British royal family. Stef’s Baltimore clan have been invited, but Robbie’s mom and dad can’t attend. They’ve entrusted Robbie and big brother, Doyle, to their mom’s two eccentric brothers, uncles Roy and Roland. Roy, a weathered waterman with a severe Baltimore accent, lives for Maryland blue crabs. Roland, a mildly hypochondriacal actor, lives to survive the Karens he unavoidably encounters. And then there’s Desales, Roy’s smart aleck, teenage son. He lives to prank. They’ve descended upon London. What could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile, tim tim has been coaching Robbie on “the mission.” A silly religious fantasy according to Robbie’s atheist parents and the therapists. Or perhaps not? Things are not always as they appear in The Big Comb Over.
Amazon US | Amazon CA | Amazon UK
Excerpt
“Thanks, bud! So, how has your travel thing worked out? You had said you were doing, like, covered bridge destinations?”
“Well, yes. I started with that because, you know, a lot of people really connect with covered bridges. There’s a peacefulness. A return to simpler times and virtues. A lot of people like that.”
“Sounds nice.”
“But I’m not the only agent with that idea. There are actually a lot of travel consultants doing covered bridges. Old railroad lines are also big these days. Anyway, I upped the ante. I’m now working in acoustic sound barriers.”
Chris saw Roland’s puzzled look.
“Okay. So, it’s interesting. You know you drive along the Beltway or other highways and see they’ve put up all those sound barrier walls, right? That way it’s not so noisy for the people in their houses. The walls are all prefabricated and look about the same. But I noticed, every now and then, they stick a door in one. I always wondered why. I learned that it’s so that the highway people can get access for maintenance or to get to fire hydrants or what have you.”
“Yes?”
“So, I had been curious about that and thought, ‘You know, if I’m curious about that, other people will be too.’”
“Okay.”
“So, I surveilled various sound walls throughout the state—mostly around Baltimore—and made a list of the most interesting ones with doors. Some of them have been around like twenty years, so they have, like, a highway patina. A lot of them have plants and vines growing around them, randomly, but sometimes in very beautiful ways. So I reached out to some of the folks whose homes are affected to get a tour, as it were. The coolest thing is the ‘before and after.’ You know, you listen first with the door open. At peak times the noise is unbelievable. But once you close that door, there is an immediate calm. Much more peaceful. Very Zen. And like I said, the naturally occurring flora and fauna are quite amazing. Besides the plants, there were things like rodents and birds nesting near the doors. Some right on the walls above the doors. You could tell because of all the droppings.”
Roland blinked twice.
About the Author
J. Paul (J.P.) Rieger is a born and bred Baltimorean and mostly retired Maryland attorney. As such, he’s well acquainted with the quirkiness and charm of Baltimore’s unique citizens. He’s author of Clonk!, a police farce set in Baltimore and published in 2023 by Apprentice House Press (Loyola University-Baltimore). He’s also author of The Case Files of Roderick Misely, Consultant, a mystery novel featuring a wannabe lawyer anti-hero. The Big Comb Over, a slipstream comedy of manners featuring three nephews and their three eccentric uncles, is Paul’s third novel. Paul is married and lives in Towson, Maryland.
Giveaway Alert!
A randomly drawn winner will receive a $25 Amazon/BN gift card – a Rafflecopter giveaway.
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Thanks very much for inviting me to your blog, today!
Thank you so much for hosting THE BIG COMB OVER today.
Sounds fascinating
Thanks Nancy!
This sounds entertaining.
Thanks, Marcy!
I like the book details.
Thanks Sherry!
Do you have any June traditions that influence your writing?
I enjoyed your guest post.